19.10.12

wedding photos!

Just a note to say that our photographer (& lovely friend!) Celine has posted photos from our wedding on her blog! Hooray. Thank you, Celine. You are such a talent.


Oh hey guys, brb just going to Diablos for some coffee (just a lil’ U of T inside joke there). 

We had the wedding at the University of Toronto because Geoff & I both have two degrees each from there, I work there, and it has been a huge part of our lives for so many years. Besides, it is a beautiful place.


Cat locket! Coriander Girl flowers, including a type of dahlia called café au lait that Alison said is me in flower form! A beautiful glitter banner that Caitlin sent as a gift, because she is the sweetest friend! Our beautiful cake made by Nikole (so delicious, with peach on the inside)!






I’m just going to get real / get real vulnerable here for a second. I don’t want to spoil these lovely photos with dark thoughts, but I feel compelled to mention that while I was determined to be so chill & relaxed, during the planning, I was freaking out on the inside, and compulsively making tulle puffs. I felt badly about the restaurant where we had the reception. It isn’t beautiful, it isn’t a photogenic barn or grand ballroom (or whatever), it isn’t a historical room with beautiful details (I longed for a wedding at Hart House’s Great Hall every time I wasn’t daydreaming about having a teeny-tiny wedding). The ability to have a dinner and an open bar for a reasonable cost on the date we wanted and in a location close to where a lot of our friends live won. I didn’t want to incur extra expenses by renting additional items, though; I couldn’t care about chairs, or place settings, or fancy candelabras ($200 at Ikea buys boxes full of simple glass candle holders and candles, and all the ones I bought ended up lost anyhow). We had hilariously old-school chair coverings provided by the restaurant (what’s up, organza ribbon bows!) and I wasn’t allowed to put anything on the walls.  I didn’t have a stylist, a wedding planner, a photo booth, or a limitless flower budget, no matter how much I wished for a room dripping with flowers. We don’t even have a honeymoon planned. We tried to keep it as simple as possible considering the size and I tried not to compare our wedding to Pinterest-ready ones (or at least ones that appear to be Pinterest-ready! Illusions! Some of them are literally photoshoots with models, after all). There were parts of planning that I definitely loved, but I hated what other parts did to me. I hated that I wasted hours of my life worrying about unimportant things. So much emphasis on the wedding, and on appearances, not emphasis enough on the marriage, on why we were doing this in the first place.

I tried not to talk about wedding planning too much, because if anyone (very sweetly) said she was looking forward to seeing the pictures, I felt anxious. I worried that the things in the pictures wouldn’t be pretty enough for public viewing: the details, the venue, and, saddest of all, that I wouldn’t be pretty enough. I would look at wedding blogs and magazines and feel an actual physical pain in my chest. By the Thursday before the wedding, I was sobbing and refusing to let my friends come over to talk about last-minute details. But they did come over, and they brought sparkling wine, and they reminded me about what mattered. There are a thousand ways to have a wedding, and all of them are wonderful in their way. And ultimately, the joy in the photos was totally real, our guests’ happiness left me floating for days.

128 comments:

  1. GORGEOUS!!! What a beautiful wedding!

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  2. Beautiful, beautiful pictures! Looking at them, I did get the impression that it was an impossibly pretty, Pinterest-ready wedding. It's strange how seeing them from the outside, as it were, you would have no idea what you were going through. I so agree that it's more important to focus on the marriage than the wedding, but you looked gorgeous and I'm very inspired.

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    1. I know, it's ironic... I can't imagine our wedding photos being splashed across Pinterest and yet, who knows, maybe our pictures make others feel the way I felt looking at wedding blogs...! I hope not. It's such a funny, personal thing. Thank you for the kind words.

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  3. Oh Anabela, you beauty! I'm glad you had such a wonderful time in the end. You clearly made the best of it because these photos are lovely! I've really loved seeing all the little details that made up your and Geoff's big day. All those big fancy weddings on pinterest may look perfect, but I suppose you have to remember that they too are only photographing the things they want you to see.

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    1. Thank you for the sweet comment, sweet lady!

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  4. really heartfelt post. thank you anabela!

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  5. so sweet!!! everything looked so beautiful and you two looks so happy! congrats!!

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  6. Such beautiful photos! Congratulations to you both.

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  7. Oh my, such beautiful pictures! You both look so happy! Love IS sweet :)

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  8. Anonymous19.10.12

    Wow, I really truly appreciate your honesty here. It's very timely, because I have had to stop looking at pinterest wedding pictures because it makes me so depressed-I want a picture perfect wedding so badly and my boyfriend just will.not.propose. Sigh. Thank you for opening up about the real pressure that's out there, or that we put on ourselves- makes me feel less alone! xo.

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    1. Aw, well I'm glad it helped. I hope you get your dream wedding.

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    2. Ginger20.10.12

      You could propose to him! I'm not trying to be totally facaetious by saying that, but i do find it sad when i hear women who are so focussed on a wedding - there are other dreams to have, and saying that your boyfriend "will.not.propose." makes him sound like an obstinate horse, not a person that you love. It makes it sound like you are gritting your teeth and hanging on in there because all you want is a wedding. If you love him and you want to get married to him, propose. If you have got a bee in your bonnet about everything being done the traditional way, maybe that scares him. This is all surmise, I don't know you at all, but a fixation on traditional weddings and proposals being "right" is part of the hideous wedding culture that this post critiques so honestly.

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  9. such a beautiful wedding and such a beautiful happy couple! i´m so sorry you were so worried, but even though everything looks picture perfect, this isn´t what matters... but i know what you mean - it´s quite an issue to work on, looks isn´t everything and somehow the internet seems so shallow...

    all the best to you two!

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    1. I know that worrying before such a big event is completely normal, but I was almost surprised by it anyhow. Thank you so much!

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  10. Beautiful, honest, thoughtful...captured perfectly in photographs...and your words. There simply are no adjectives to describe the fabulousness of your floral crown...exquisite! So many layers of delight...thank you!

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    1. Thank you so much! And I'm glad you like the flower crown, because I loved it!

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  11. It look me over a year to get over the bad parts of my wedding: mostly being a zombie, not being present. Wanting everything to be perfect for the "public." Whatever that means, as if that really mattered. It does and it doesn't. You look beautiful and the dark parts will fade away in time.

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    1. Thank you so much. I think I should have clarified that in the end, on the day, everything was wonderful. Leading up to the day I thought there would be a chance that I would feel that I didn't want to share photos with anyone but the guests, but I don't feel that way now. It was just such a shock to have such dark thoughts! Weird blog pressure I guess. Thank you for sharing. x

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  12. Dude. You need to get yourself to A Practical Wedding (http://apracticalwedding.com) pronto for that guilt. Your wedding is yours, and there's no need to feel pressured by the Wedding Industrial Complex NOR the Wedding DIY Complex.

    Your wedding was lovely, even without the mason-jars-wrapped-in-ribbons-that-match-the-handmade-bunting-on-the-cake. Lovely. Period.

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    1. I actually have the book! I started reading it, but thought "Ehh, I know all this" and didn't finish. The pressure I created for myself was all in my head and no one could talk me out of it, not even Geoff who was equally as involved! I'm actually a huge fan of making things and did quite a bit of DIY for the wedding, spending a lot of time putting ribbons on things, ha.

      Thank you. I think it was lovely too! It was a beautiful day.

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  13. Your honesty is so encouraging. I had moments in the midst of our planning where I held too tightly to the perfection of details. As we move farther away from the day of our wedding, I am thankful that I see more of our marriage and relationship and covenant than I do the table settings. Your wedding was so, so beautiful! I hope you are able to think fondly about the imperfect details as great stories for your children.

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    1. Thank you so much. I feel so awkward having written all of that, and I've felt nervous all day in case I came across as ungrateful, because I certainly am not. I just wanted to share, because I know it's something others struggle with.

      Funnily enough, I don't see them as imperfect now! The day was so wonderful that none of those things mattered in the end.

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  14. You look so GORGEOUS and so happy, oh my goodness. Beautiful.

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  15. congratulations! you make a beautiful bride! you had your dream wedding and i am so happy for you xx

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  16. Dude, I think it is impossible to not have some kind of pre-wedding freakout, especially if you've been planning for so long. As I'm becoming more involved in the behind-the-scenes of weddings, I'm realizing that there's basically no escaping the mania of planning and the ideas of perfection. You're forced to focus on SO many details, even if you don't care about aesthetics, so if you are a visual person those "extra" things feel so much harder and so much more important. Especially if you're a person who people "expect" certain stuff from, especially ESPECIALLY online. But fuck that! No one who loves you & Geoff cares about anything except spending that time with you and feelin' the love. Internet be damned. I'm sure you know already but what you felt is so totally normal, and pretty much unavoidable. But you guys look like you had a really awesome day, looking at your photos made me get some serious happy feelings for you, and the day was captured very beautifully. It feels very genuine and there's something super endearing about imagining the restaurant's classic "this is a wedding" chair coverings or whatever, even if none of that stuff really comes through in the photos. And damn I am so stoked on your flower crown, it is the flower crown to end all flower crowns. NICE ONE BUDDIES!

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    1. Aw dude, you totally made me cry. Yes to everything. Weird blog pressure (that I invented for myself) for real got in the way. Also I kind of loved those hilarious chair coverings, I gotta say. Thank you, babe x

      Oh and yeah, I LOVE my flower crown! Lou Lou forever.

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  17. i love you for writing this post.

    i had a similar experience when planning my own wedding. i also had a very limited budget (hello ikea candle holders!) and i'm a bit of a perfectionist/people-pleaser and i got so stressed out that it got the a point where i wanted to just give up and elope! so. much. pressure. (and this was BEFORE pinterest - thank goodness!) it all worked out in the end of course, and we had a lovely small & simple wedding. of course it's the marriage that matters, and it's the most wonderful part of it all.

    p.s. your wedding photos are absolutely STUNNING!

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    1. Thank you so much. I love Ikea candle holders! And yeah, I really do feel that blogs/Pinterest/etc have really changed things. Celine got married only about four or five years ago, and she told me that things were totally different then, compared to what she sees in weddings now... and hers wasn't even so long ago! It's just gotten crazy. Thank you for sharing.

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  18. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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  19. having now been married for just over two years, i can honestly say that while i had more or less the same issues with our reception hall, they matter less and less with the passing of time. the loved ones that were there and the joy of the day outshadow the non-perfect venue and i barely remember the cheesy color or the bad candle holders that the venue provided.

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    1. Thank you for sharing! I completely agree. Weddings need a little cheese anyway!

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  20. It is hard to read what you wrote because that is exactly what I hate about the blog world sometimes. The amount of pressure to look perfectly unmade, have the perfect antique rug filled apartment, and cast all instagrams in a certain hazy light is so infuriating sometimes. I'm not sure why, but I never thought it would get to prominent bloggers like yourself. Everyone else here has said a lot of what I feel, but just know that looking at your photos made me tear up a bit because of how in love you two looked. And that's all that matters! (As I'm sure you already know.)

    Congratulations on your marriage! And HOLY you looked stunning. Talk about hairspiration.

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    1. I don't think of myself to as a prominent blogger (!), but I totally understand what you're saying. I know that when I share things here I definitely want to show things that I consider to be beautiful, because I appreciate beauty, and I feel that it makes me focus on the good things that I do have going on in my life. A friend of mine teases me and calls it "the soft focus lifestyle," mostly because he knows it drives me crazy. My life is so very far from picture-perfect! As I type this I am lying on a fur-covered Ikea sofa that my cats have ripped up with my feet on Geoff's lap because we both barely fit on the thing, typing on a barely functional netbook computer, wearing floral leggings that are worn at the seams. I bet there are some who would romanticize this picture that I have just created, though! I definitely appreciate the work some people do to create the beautiful images that inspire us all... even though I feel so overwhelmed by it some days.

      Anyhow, thank you for the sweet words. I loved my hair that day too! So glad I wore it down.

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  21. anabela, you look so beautiful and your wedding looked completely gorgeous, poetic and very "you" (at least the you i know through your blog!)

    and thank you for the honesty re: how stressful it could be. my sister is planning her wedding and it is so stressing her out, making her feel poor and the whole pinterest/facebook wedding complex has her so down. and one of my best friends just went to a wedding at a village in italy that was the most extravagant thing ever, and now she has a complex about her future wedding! it is like the future sharing of it all is stressing her out, which makes her fuss about the details that will eventually (and hopefully) be eclipsed by the marriage itself.

    anyway the photos are so lovely, and you both look so beautiful and happy...congrats to you both and your happy life together!

    xo k.

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    1. Oh no, your poor sister! It breaks my heart to hear about that, mostly because I am so against other people feeling down about their weddings, even though I fully admit that I let the pressure get to me! And oh man, I can't even tell you how many times I found myself feeling so jealous of the weddings in Italy! Like I just want to GO to Italy, never mind have the most beautiful courtyard/estate wedding there! It seemed for a while that everyone in North America was dashing off to Italy to have these grand weddings (exaggeration, of course, brought on by my extraordinary jealousy).

      Your sister is so lucky to have your caring, sweet spirit helping her, though! Thank you so much for your kind words.

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  22. Your wedding looks and feels absolutely beautiful! ;)

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    1. Thank you! I'm happy to say that I think so too. Mostly because I was there and it was such a beautiful day!

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  23. Man Anabela, thank you for sharing—brave as usual. It is really hard to let go of these things, even when you KNOW they don't matter; from the horrid little string-light-thing that only half-worked (!) in our tent to my after-thought that damn, I should have actually put some time into my bouquet (in retrospect, a more "authentically 20s" drippy bouquet would have been great) and done a hair test so that I could get it exactly *right*...well. I think most of us have these nagging ideas and it doesn't change the fact that it was a beautiful day with love and friends and joy. Your photos are incredibly beautiful, and feel just like "you" (as per Fieldguided)...so in short, congratulations to you and Geoff! <3 <3

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    1. Thank you, Michelle! And ha, the amount of things I had stored away that didn't work. I stocked up on twinkle lights at Christmas, only to realize that there was no way to actually string them up. Luckily not a single person said "This wedding is missing tiny little lights" and I will have lights for Christmases forever. Anyway it seems crazy to me that you had those sorts of thoughts because your wedding(s) were both so wonderful and lovely and sweet and worth plastering all over the Pinterest OF MY HEART. x

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    2. The Pinterest of your heart!!! This is why you are one of the best ladies on the internet. XO

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  24. Oh you wonderful lady! And couple! I've been meaning, since these started surfacing around FB and on blogs, to say that these days I've had a really hard time with all the wedding stuff on the internet, since having the wind knocked out of me in that department this past year. It's a silly thing to feel bad about, but it's a feeling nonetheless, and it's hard sometimes not to feel bad or embittered about seeing all this beautiful wedding stuff around.

    But the thing is, when pictures of your wedding started to surface (and when the day happened and we all got to say congratulations and send our love across the internet!) I didn't feel that at all! Your personalities and love really came through, cheesy as that sounds! I felt so good seeing these, it all looked so lovely, low-key but pretty, so very you! I can imagine it's hard with everyone seeming to have these endlessly perfect events online (yours looks pretty perfect and amazing, I would never have guessed you were stressed or second guessed anything about it!), but you did a beautiful job! It all looks and is very genuine and real, your wedding, and I can only hope that someday I'll be able to experience something similar! Thank you so much for sharing, it's amazing <333

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    1. Oh sweet girl, so many hugs to you. This is a bit different, but I went through a similar thing during our long engagement period (4 years). I saw absolutely no way for us to put a wedding together because we had no money for it, and I felt so stuck (we never did work up the nerve to elope!). Whenever I would see wedding pictures, and see couples meet, get engaged, and marry all while we were still engaged with no wedding date in sight, I felt so rotten. I don't think it's a silly thing for you to feel bad about. Totally valid, although I hope you'll heal.

      Thank you so much for your sweet words. It was quite low-key and chill and lovely! I'm so happy we managed to pull off a wedding that was so full of love and warmth and that made me forget about all the other stuff completely. xoxoxo



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  25. congrats! looks like a wonderful day.
    and seriously, you have such gorgeous hair!!

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    1. Thank you so much! And thanks, I think it's my best feature, ha!

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  26. alyssa basich20.10.12

    anabela, you described all your wedding day fears so eloquently! i've never really thought about the pressure of keeping a blog. your life seems so beautiful and perfect, and many days i feel my life is so lackluster compared to some of the blogs i follow (including yours). it's comforting to know that you get nervous about how others perceive you, too. if possible, you are now even more amazing in my book. you made a gorgeous bride, and i am so very happy for you!!

    xx alyssa.

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    1. I am sincerely sorry if my blog ever made you feel that way about your life for even one second! I always want this blog to be a place where I can, in some small way, celebrate what I love... and not contribute to any negative thoughts, because there is enough pressure elsewhere (I certainly feel it every day, in so many ways!). Thank you so much for your sweet words.

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  27. Now I don't know you personally, but I've been following your blog for a little while (found it because of your awesome tote bags! ). Pinterest, while really inspiring, can also be kind of dangerous - so many of the beautiful photos we see (think Kinfolk Mag, etc. etc.) are staged and convey this neat, perfect lifestyle and even if it's not staged, people generally tend to post the best, most beautiful photos and leave out the things that might not look so great on the internet (don't we all!) so we get the impression that everything's perfect in their lives when it's really not. We (well, I for one, haha) sometimes get a little insecure and lose track of what's really important. But you know, those photos you posted are so amazing & you were such a beautiful bride! Totally Pinterest-worthy too (even though that's not what counts, of course :D ) I also think it's great that bloggers who appear to have picture-perfect lives admit to NOT being perfect, thank you for that! Ok my little rant is over now....

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    1. Thank you so much. Ohhhhh no, my life is not perfect. I mean, there was a day last week when I got so down about work-related things and success/my feelings of failure that I cried at my desk all day! It happens to us all. I appreciate the beautiful photos that others take because they can help inspire, which is what I try to do, in some small way. I don't want to post things that are negative, or to complain, because I don't think that helps in a lot of situations... but I just thought I would open up about my fears even though I was so nervous to do so, because I think that that's a part that often gets left out in discussions of weddings (or if it does get mentioned, it can become an angry, hateful thing that makes other people feel badly about their choices). Anyhow, thank you so much for the sweet words.

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  28. i'm not usually mushy about weddings, but i totally teared up looking at all your pictures :) they emanate so much happiness and love, and i feel so happy for you two even though i don't know you!

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    1. Thank you! It was such a happy day so I'm glad that came through.

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  29. you both looks so beautiful and so happy!
    thanks for sharing your special day

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  30. The love that you two have for each other bleeds through every photo. What a beautiful choice for the photographer. Congratulations!

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    1. Thank you! Yes, we love Celine!!

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  31. Such beautiful photos! I'm a U of T student at the Mississauga campus, but I work at the Jackman Humanities building once a week. I never really spent a lot of time in that area, but the buildings really are stunning.

    Your transparency is really endearing and genuine. I think we all feel the pressures of perfection, so thank you for sharing. Congrats on your gorgeous day!

    xx

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    1. Oh, the Mississauga campus is lovely now! But yeah, I just love the St George campus -- it's really dear to my heart.

      Thank you so much!

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  32. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING MEN, your wedding is soooo Pinterest ready. It's truly gorgeous & I pinned it to my togetherness board the moment I saw it: http://pinterest.com/magali/t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r-n-e-s-s/
    It's so beautiful that you decided to be real & genuine but I'm not lying at all when I saw yours is one of the prettiest weddings I've seen online in recent times. I guess I like seeing real couples.

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    1. Thank you so much. You are too sweet.

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  33. You have amazing style, and I'm sure that even with all the organza chairs, your photos will be a treat! No worries!

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    1. Haha, thanks. I kind of liked the chairs!

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  34. Anabela

    Congratulations on your wedding, you are such a cute couple. I have come to the conclusion that as good as the internet is at bringing people together and inspiring you it is also has the great ability to make you feel rubbish about yourself. Nowadays I never look at sites like pinterest and have given up on the majority of bloggers as it is too easy to get caught out by all the 'inspirational' things they blog about that really just want you to spend more money.

    As someone who has just competed an Open University degree at the age of 39 what I was really impressed by was the fact that both you and Geoff both have two. Now that is really impressive and frankly inspirational! May I ask what they are in?

    Best wishes

    Sarah

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    1. Thank you so much. Congratulations on the degree! My Bachelor's degree is in Medieval Studies, and Geoff's is in Art History and Visual Studies. We both have Master's degrees in Library Studies. And lots of student debt, yay! Ha.

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  35. I think there is certainly a lot of pressure on brides when there's a constant inundation of inspirational photos on Pinterest, blogs, and so on. But what makes a day special is the love, and happiness of the couple and their friends and family. After having taken a peek at your (extremely lovely!) wedding photos, the immediate sense I had was the love that pervaded everything - and the captured moments were all the more beautiful for that reason!

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    1. Thank you! I think so too. Celine did a great job.

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  36. I thought your wedding looked simple, and happy and nice & cozy. I really appreciate when there are small weddings, since it is what I'd like one day. I'm Portuguese so I feel like there's such pressure to have a huge wedding, and that causes me stress, and I only want people I know very well to surround me on that day. Good for you to sticking with your guns! [Also, UofT campus gave me nostalgia.]

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    1. It was pretty cozy, despite being large (180 guests!). I hope you get what you desire when the time comes!

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  37. Anonymous21.10.12

    Anabela -

    Your wedding looks like it was absolutely beautiful. As an avid reader of your blog, I was so excited to see more photos of your special day - and they did not disappoint! It looks lovely and you looked FLAWLESS. (I might have to do a DIY headband like the one you decided to wear!)

    I think your wedding will inspire others and your shared feelings are mutual among many, if not most, brides. Weddings are terrifying events to plan but I think you and Geoff did an amazingly wonderful job. You two should be proud!

    I hope you two remember it fondly forever! xx

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    1. We will remember it fondly! I have no regrets! I'm so happy to read your sweet words, so thank you.

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  38. You are gorgeous and I giggled out loud at your concern about not looking lovely enough my gosh you were luminous! I looked at your friends photos and ALL of it looked amazing including the reception venue. Love made it all look as lovely as you x

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  39. Thank you so much for posting this ... I recently got married & was in the same boat as you ... I love reading blogs & perusing pinterest but at one point before my big day I had to stop because I was feeling like my small little wedding was not going to compare but the day of was amazing & perfect & no one seemed to care we didn't have a photo booth or any of that stuff! Your wedding was lovely & your honesty makes me enjoy your blog even more

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    1. Yes, I definitely had to force myself to stop looking because after a while it just wasn't helpful, only detrimental to my mental health! Congratulations on your recent nuptials! Thank you so much for the kind words.

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  40. theresa21.10.12

    hey anabela! obviously you have no idea how adorable you are- which makes you even more adorable!
    congrats!

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  41. The pictures are beautiful. I love the one from your first dance - you're such a pretty laugh-er! You're laughing & super-smiley in so many of the pictures which I think really shows just how happy an event the wedding must have been.

    I don't want to say that I "liked" reading about what you went through while planning your wedding (because I obviously don't like hearing about someone's pain), but I'm glad you wrote it. Reaching the age where your friends start to get married is such a weird / eye-opening thing. I admit that I never gave a lot of thought to weddings when I was younger, and if I did it was in a purely aesthetic way - a pinterest board sort of way. "Oh I'd want to wear this and have this type of flower" blah blah blah. But then once I started bridesmaid-ing, it was like a whole new world opened up and I saw all the shit that actually goes down during the wedding planning process... and all the drama and stress and worrying and $$$$$. I don't really know where I'm going with this, so.... congratulations! Congratulations on your marriage and congratulations for surviving the process of planning a wedding. Not only surviving, but having what looks like a really lovely one.

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    1. Thanks, Mallory! And yeah, it's true. Even I was completely in shock by the cost of things once I started looking into it, and I had helped with some weddings in the past. I think I was mostly just angry at myself for letting it all get to me when I was so stubbornly determined not to!

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  42. Ah, bless you for sharing the other side of the story. The photos are beautiful, and you look stunning, and it's good to know that it was all a lot more complex than that! I loved the comment on Celine's blog about What do you think the cats are doing now? I hope that's a window into how your marriage is, always. So wonderful.

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    1. Haha, it's true, that is what we're like all the time. Our relationship is so private in so many ways that it was kind of nice to have all those happy, exciting feelings explode outwards on the day! Thank you very much.

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  43. The first thing I thought when I looked at your photos was how beautiful your wedding was and how much I love the simplicity of it. Sometimes I get overwhelmed just looking at photos of weddings just imagining the effort! I think your photos are lovely and you look stunning. I'm sorry to hear the planning was so overwhelming.

    xoxo missdottidee.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you. It really wasn't that bad, honestly.

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  44. I don't think you are at all alone in all of those feelings, and not just in regards to your wedding but in regards to life in general!! That our whole world should be Pinterest, Tumblr, or Blogspot ready - and getting depressed when real life isn't a magical page in Lula magazine. I am so glad to have read this and just know that other people do feel the same - and most of all that it's okay for your life not to look perfect it all the time!! I hope that through all the stress of the lead up you have come out the other side feeling stronger, and bigger than the internet! Congratulations on everything xoxoxoxoox

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    1. Oh, I know I am most definitely not alone! Thank you so much. x

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  45. such a beautiful post and a beautiful wedding. you looked absolultely gorgeous, i can definitely relate with your feelings prior to the wedding but honestly, in a few years it all becomes a blur. all i remember from my wedding are happy little blurred moments. nothing else matters.

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    1. Thank you! I like the idea of happy little blurred moments. I really don't have any bad ones to blur out, though, honestly!

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  46. I love how you're being so honest.
    Have your read this article about 'Marriage Mania' and Pinterest ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/natasha-burton/how-pinterest-made-me-cra_b_1569409.html )

    I think you were absolutely glowing on your wedding day. Being with the ones you love on your wedding day is far more important than how the chairs look.
    You both look adorable and your dress is gorgeous!
    (and that cat locket is the cutest!)

    Sara

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    1. Ha, that article is pretty funny. Thank you for passing it along and for your kind words.

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  47. I know what you mean, in this internet world it seems like everyone has the most perfect life! (but I know it's not true)

    I'm not as eloquent as you are, but one day I had to make a little cartoon about it:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/needle_fingers/7132642601/in/photostream

    ps. You have beautiful teeth! haha, I didn't realize that before this post and all these smiley pictures.

    congrats!

    Ani

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    1. That cartoon is pretty funny. Thank you! And I guess I never really show my teeth here! Hilariously enough, I hate my teeth! I guess they'll never be white enough or straight enough or symmetrical enough!

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  48. anabela. so much to say and agree with and puzzle over and all i can manage is a resounding, yes. i would write a book on the topic if i wasn't already so bored of hearing myself talk about it. you and geoff look positively radiant and of course it's all the stuff we can't see that really matters. yay, love.

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    1. Haha! I know, I am so bored of it too. I don't want to be "wedding pressure girl" now! The internet is so funny. Thank you for your sweet words.

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  49. I am incredibly grateful you put this out there. My wedding planning experience mirrors yours almost exactly and I thought I was the only woman who worried about those things. You, Geoff, and all your details look amazing, but the thing I noticed first is how peaceful and in love you both look. Congratulations!

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    1. I'm glad you got something out of it! Thanks for the kind words.

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  50. Thanks for sharing all the lovely details, but it's the smiling photo of you and your adorable husband that wins! Yay for happily reminding us what weddings are all about. Congrats! xo

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  51. Dear Anabela, the picture are beautiful and you two look amazing (love love your long hair and your dress is stunning). I believe it's very Pinterestely and wouldn't have guessed your fears if you haven't spoken about them!
    So glad you had a wonderful day and you could re-perspective your fears. In the end, pinterest won't hold your hand but your love, friends and family will! :)
    Thanks a lot for sharing, a beautiful, real, full of love celebration!

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    1. Thank you so much! Luckily for us nothing went badly, and we had a great day.

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  52. You needn't have worried because everything looks gorgeous and you look lovely! I really like how you included the special little details, like the name of the dahlia (such a delicious name!). Thanks for sharing your worries and keeping it real. It's good to be reminded to focus on the moment rather than whether the photos we take are 'Pinterest-ready', not just for weddings but any occasion.

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    1. Thank you! And yeah, I was so happy to learn a little about dahlias because I hadn't thought about them much before.

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  53. First - everything looks gorgeous in these pictures, and it looks like a wonderful wedding. I hate that anxiety about how things will look for our weddings seems to have escalated - I remember having some similar feelings leading up to our wedding two years ago, worrying about how everything would look, if my bangs would look funny or if I would smile weirdly, or if our pictures would look bad. It honestly didn't matter that my bangs looked funny, or that I did smile weirdly, and that some of our pictures turned out poorly.
    We are married, had so much fun, and were able to see so many good people, and my favorite pictures are of the giant group of people who came to see us, and candids of me dancing with my husband, and my friends. I don't think they're anything people who I'm not friends with would be interested in, to be honest, and I think that's so funny - how these days, we all put pressure on ourselves to produce weddings that are good enough for blogs or pinterest and facebook, but 10 (even 5?) years ago, that wouldn't even be a consideration. That's not to say it isn't fun to look at wedding pictures - but it certainly isn't fun if we're all having such bad anxiety about producing a wedding that looks like a day-long photoshoot with professionals. It is so much more important to realize it's great to be married, and have everyone there to celebrate it!

    Apologies for the long comment! Congratulations to you both!

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words. I agree, I feel that things have changed quite a lot in such a short time. Everything seems more intense, although I'm sure brides had other things to worry about in the past (planning is so much easier in some ways now, through the internet!). It's a fascinating thing to think about, and talk about! These comments have been pretty great to read.

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  54. Anabela - I just wrote a long comment for you, and when I hit publish it disappeared! So you are lucky, I will just give you the summary:
    Your photos are beautiful!
    I am so sorry you felt such anxiety before the wedding, I had similar feelings. And I recently realized that this specific anxiety is such a recent phenomenon - who used to look at wedding pictures aside from our family and friends, sitting on the couch looking at a photo album? If they were the only ones seeing my pictures, would I have worried so much about how my bangs might look or the funny faces I might make in pictures? My bangs often look funny, and I tend to make funny faces in pictures, my family is used to that.
    Congratulations to you both! Your photos that you share are always lovely, by the way, and I always enjoy seeing what you have been photographing, thank you for sharing them with us.

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    1. Oh no! It's because I have comment moderation on. I have been having some spam problems so I have to make sure that comments are real before I post them.

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  55. oh! i love the vulnerability! your wedding was beautiful because you two and your love are beautiful! and you're a much stronger woman than i - i couldn't deal with the anxiety of planning at all so just DIDN'T. but i sometimes wish we had a big love party with all of our friends and family. congratulations for the millionthhhh time. xo.

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    1. Oh wow, I had no idea, Hollie! I don't think you should feel any regrets, though, because your ordinary life is pretty fun and more exciting than some weddings, ha! Thank you!

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  56. One of the most beautiful brides I have ever seen! Congrats!

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    1. Aw, that is so nice of you to say. Thank you.

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  57. I think those thoughts are so common these days -- there is so much pressure to have everything picture perfect, especially with pinterest/wedding blogs/imagined expectations and whatnot. I'm glad you are able to look back on the day with joy.

    For what it's worth from a total stranger (albeit someone who has followed your blog for ages!), everything DOES look picture perfect -- especially you!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yeah, reading these comments I was surprised to read that people feel pressure from Facebook now. I guess every moment is photographed and put out there for judgment, which kind of sucks. I'm sure it's been like that for a long time, but it just feels so much more intense to me (I could be wrong).

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  58. I couldn't have read your post at a better time. I got married 2 months ago and wrestled with all the same doubts and pressures in the build up to it. Pinterest and other such sites are great for inspiration but you can't help but feel a little twinge of peer pressure too. But who doesn't want a picture perfect wedding...along with a perfect off-camera wedding too! It's just difficult to get a balance between the two. Your wedding sounds like it was the perfect balance though and you looked stunning! And long after people have stopped looking at the pictures, you'll still remember all those other perfect details no camera lens can capture.

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    1. Thank you! And I'm glad you enjoyed reading this. Congratulations to you!

      Once I decided that I didn't care what the pictures looked like and focused on just having a good time, I felt a lot better. I would just forget about that from time to time, and lose focus.

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  59. I've really enjoyed your realistic posts on your wedding this past little while, Anabela. I am so happy for you and Geoff and wish the both of you love forever! x

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  60. I am so so glad you said that. we forget that photo shoots are fantasy play because they look so real. I am in love with my man and have 3 kids yet not married because the wedding just seems, well, overwhelming. our friends with the sparking wine are the best!
    here is a photo shoot that I did that reminds me of your roses: http://withyoustill.tumblr.com/post/34162442239/pink-lemonade-roses-look-closely-at-the-top

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    1. Hey, whatever works for you! Thanks for sharing the photo shoot. Love the wasp.

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  61. I have never written a comment on your blog before but I have been following you for a while now. I actually also live in Toronto and find you so creative and inspiring and I really appreciate seeing such talent in the city that I live in.
    I just wanted to say that my husband and I were married only a couple of weeks ago and I felt so much truth and similarity to my own wedding with what you wrote. Wedding planning can be so overwhelming and when you don't have an endless budget sacrifices have to be made. For what it's worth the pictures you have posted have been incredibly beautiful and your wedding looks perfect! I hope married life is treating you well :)

    -Melissa

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  62. Oh such wise words my dear.

    I wish you a long and happy marriage.

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  63. You are such an inspiration lady - and I MOST DEFINITELY say that in reference to your comments at the end. Although everything about your wedding was also inspiring and beautiful, I absolutely support and echo your statements about how (in the long run) meaningless it is. The marriage, the family, the memories are what matter. Thank you so much for courageously reminding us all of this! xo

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  64. Sorry to hear you went through some difficulties and insecurities in the lead up - but on the other hand, thanks so much for sharing, it's so reassuring! I hear what you're saying about the Pinterest-perfect thing, even though you can try to dismiss it, it's easy to be a little intimidated by all the perfectperfectperfect wedding images out there. I say that as someone who now has their own wedding to plan. From talking to people, it seems no matter what, there's just no avoiding some form of stress when it comes to wedding plans - I'm so glad you were happy in the end though, and the photos are truly stunning. Congratulations!

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  65. A few days before the wedding I had exactly the same feeling as you about the photographs, the pain in the chest... only in our case we weren't going to have any official photographer, our idea was to keep our wedding very simple and rustic so we just brought all our cameras (digital, disposable, old polaroids, super8..) and let everyone take as many pics as they wanted. For days I kept wondering how they would have turned out, after all it was my wedding and you only have one occasion to make your album look right... But at the end, everything was exactly as I hoped it would be, even better! The pictures were lovely and described our day in the best possible way :) No stiff poses, just spontaneous, happy snaps! Every wedding is different and personal, screw the traditions my grandmother says! Yours looks absolutely beautiful, congratulations dear!
    Ale

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